Undercover Report
by icer01
Summary: Pearl is our narrator here! She follows Phoenix and Maya on their 'date' to the Pink Princess Movie. Hmm, could we see some actual Phoenix/Maya action? Or not. Then there's always the Tanabata festival... Written for P/M Fan Club Secret Santa event.
1. July 3 2019

_Written for the Secret Santa event at the Phoenix/Maya Fan Club [So it's dedicated to BlackWiddow.] _

_This fic is narrated by Pearl. Set after GS3, probably in an alternate timeline where GS4 didn't happen._

* * *

Since Mother had to go away, some of the other Mystics here help attend to my needs.

Mystic Maya has instructed Mystic Mira and Mystic Martha to be my private tutors in reading and writing English and Japanese. I do not like reading and writing, but anything Mystic Maya says or does is most definitely a good idea.

Mr Eh-ji-werth has presented me with something titled a 'computer'. I do not know how it works. I searched the entire Kurain Library to explain this kind of spirit power, but there did not seem to be anything on this subject.

When I asked Mystic Maya, it did not help my understanding very much either. While Mystic Maya is almost always correct, based on her answer, I think she may be mistaken.

Mr. Nick merely said "I don't know," and quickly rambled onto some other topic. Perhaps I will be required to ask Mr. Ehji-werth again.

Mr. Ehji-werth did however train me in the spirit power called 'spell-checker'. This is useful in the gruelling task imposed upon me by Mystic Mira and Mystic Martha in my reading and writing training. Even with this, however, when my tasks are returned after they have been 'edited' by the Mystics, I can barely read them myself any more.

The Mystics have instructed me to report on events in my life. When I recounted the lovely true events of Mr. Nick rushing across a burning bridge, blacking out when his Special Someone was kidnapped and then saving her, and breaking down a door because his Special Someone was in danger inside, they scolded me that I was to recount real recent events, not 'write a romance novel'.

I do not understand.

* * *

*****

_3 July_

Today I partook in an extremely exciting activity – secretly following Mystic Maya and Mr. Nick on their date to _Pink Princess® Movie IV_!

Mystic Maya told me it was not a date (actually screamed at me with quite intense passion) but I know she is only a bashful blushing maiden. Because in all my study of the city and its cultural practices from Mystic Maya's exalted reference of choice, the 'television', when a man takes his Special Someone to the movies and buys her entertainment and food, it is always regarded as a date. And Mr. Nick always buys Mystic Maya a very large and expensive quantity of food. He also always buys her a gift. He does not buy flowers, but this is because he knows his Special Someone intricately and he knows Mystic Maya does not really like flowers. "You can't eat them," she explained once in her infinite words of wisdom.

Following is easy because the doe-eyed lovers take the bus. Mystic Maya suggests to her handsome prince they call a taxi, but her Special Someone laments he cannot afford this AND the office rent this month.

Mr. Nick appears to waste a lot of time purchasing 'tik-kets' but I just follow Mystic Maya's example and confidently saunter past. The bus driver doesn't bat an eyelid.

I strain my ears during the bus ride to hear the lovers' romantic conversation from a few rows away, but it's not very interesting. Mr. Nick complains about how he thinks the bus driver overcharged him for the tik-kets. Mystic Maya enquires why he did not shout 'Objection!' and point his finger in the bus driver's face. Mr. Nick admits last time he did that he was thrown off the bus. Perhaps the tik-ket price has merely risen, again. Mystic Maya says she knows how he feels. When she went to the burger place without Mr. Nick, they ripped her off with her '4x4 Burger' having only 3 meat patties instead of the advertised four, and they wouldn't give her a refund because she'd already eaten it.

I am waiting with baited breath to see if Mr. Nick will get all mad and yell about 'suing' the burger place to defend Mystic Maya's honour, but unfortunately the bus has already arrived at their stop and they leap hastily to their feet and rush out. In the crowd and commotion they don't notice me leap out too.

I know they are going to the movie theatre, so it does not matter that I lose them temporarily.

When I see them again, I have disguised myself adequately, so Mr. Nick and Mystic Maya will not see my presence. Some kind man is giving out Pink Princess masks made of paper, so nobody will see my face. At first I am a little sad when the man refuses to give Mystic Maya one also. Perhaps I should slap him, but that may reveal my identity. Also, it will prevent Mr. Nick from gazing starry-eyed into Mystic Maya's beautiful face. So he is a kind man indeed for preventing this disaster from occurring.

I do not own any clothes other than my spirit medium uniform, but I have borrowed a long jacket from a very large store. I think you are supposed to pay for it at that magic box, but there were a lot of them there, so I do not think it will matter if I just put I back again later. Mystic Maya knows more than me, and I have observed her borrowing items sometimes, so it must be an acceptable city custom.

Now that they have their movie tik-kets, Mystic Maya is dragging her partner with great intense affection to the snack bar.

"I want a Quadruple Samurai Burger and a Jumbo Hyper Pink Princess Combo!" she trills excitedly.

"Objection! It's cheaper to buy the items in the Jumbo Hyper Combo separately," protests Mr. Nick.

"But the Combo comes with a collectible toy you _can't_ buy separately," Mystic Maya replies back.

"What? Then just buy a _different_ toy separately!"

Mystic Maya's face falls.

"…Okay, okay," Mr. Nick stammers hastily. "One Quadruple Samurai Burger and one Jumbo Hyper Pink Princess Combo with toy," he repeats to the attendant. I know his lack of enthusiasm is only to hide his intense feelings!

"Aren't you having anything, Nick?" asks Mystic Maya.

"No. Maybe I can share yours?"

I practically squeal at such a romantic gesture.

"Hey! Not the burgers!"

I follow at a distance as the Special Someones enter the dark movie room. Mystic Maya leaps in excitedly carrying her two burgers (one was from the Combo meal) and her plastic Pink Princess toy. Mr. Nick teeters behind her carrying a huge bucket of popcorn, a huge bucket of chocolates, and a huge drink. Little pieces of popcorn seem to be spilling everywhere.

I sit in the row behind them, along a little way so I can watch them. I think the movie must have already started, though for some reason the Pink Princess hasn't showed up yet. A huge burger, as tall as Fey Manor, fills the big TV screen. Mystic Maya gets very excited.

Now the movie is about drinks. I don't know why the Samurais have not appeared yet. Mystic Maya's eyes are stuck to the screen. At the same time, she is chewing through her burgers at an amazing speed. Mr. Nick looks very bored. He hesitantly reaches for a chocolate.

Mystic Maya has devoured her burger. She licks the wrappings with her elegant tongue. She plunges her hand into the popcorn and chocolate buckets alternately, eyes still focused on the giant TV screen.

She shovels her hand into the popcorn bucket just as Mr. Nick is tentatively trying to take some. I am not close enough to see what goes on in there, but for some reason Mystic Maya drops her eyes away from the screen.

"Heehee." "Um…" the Special Someones are muttering. This must be a secret romantic language.

Then Mystic Maya throws a handful of popcorn at Mr. Nick. This must be that romantic activity where the Special Someones feed each other!

It goes nowhere near Mr. Nick's mouth, and some of it gets stuck on his hair, but Mystic Maya was always very bad at sports.

Then Mr. Nick throws a chocolate at Mystic Maya, and she swerves and catches it in her mouth.

This is the most exciting day of my life.

I am confident they will kiss next, but some nasty man comes and tells them they will be 'evicted' if they don't stop throwing food. I force myself not to slap him. Surely true love will defy all odds!

But the main part of the movie must be starting now because Mystic Maya is glued back to the screen. Words I can't read come up, but I also see the Pink Princess logo.

***

Mystic Maya is very excited at the action on the screen. The handsome Nickel Samurai has just arrived to save the Pink Princess from the evil Titanium Magistrate. I can barely turn my eyes away from the screen because they are probably going to kiss. But it would be even more exciting if the scene inspires Mystic Maya and Mr. Nick to kiss for real!

Mystic Maya turns to Mr. Nick, but we both see something very bad. Mr. Nick's head has dropped onto the corner of his seat. His eyes are closed. He may even be snoring.

"NICK!" shrieks Maya, and shakes him. "How DARE you miss such a pivotal scene!!!"

"B..but it's bo.. Um I'm really tired…"

She still looks upset and Mr. Nick suddenly seems genuinely worried.

"I'm sorry. I'll watch the DVD when it comes out."

"Okay," agrees Mystic Maya. I let out the breath I have been holding - the lovers' tiff is thankfully over! Actually, Mystic Maya is now smiling for some reason, but maybe it is because she is back watching the movie.

Mystic Maya is enthralled with the screen so I decide to keep an eye on Mr. Nick on her behalf. Perhaps I can throw something at him to stop him ruining the date by sleeping again.

So when Mr. Nick's eyes again wander, I am down collecting some old rubbish, but then I look more closely.

Mr. Nick is ignoring the screen. But instead he is now watching Mystic Maya.

Mystic Maya is so excited by the movie, she's oblivious to everything else. Every so often, she beams happily about something happening onscreen. When this happens, Mr. Nick smiles happily to himself too. He watches Mystic Maya this way for most of the remaining movie.

The credits are rolling, and the people around start getting up and leaving. Mr. Nick begins to gather together their rubbish and get to his feet.

"No!" protests Mystic Maya. "What if we miss the stinger?"

They sit and wait.

The lights are now coming on in the movie room. Mystic Maya and Mr. Nick finally get up. Suddenly, I see Mr. Larry rushing toward the happy couple.

"Nick! Oh, it's AWFUL, man! Hayliee stood me up! She just didn't show and then she sent a text dumping me! Can you be… Why hello, Maya! You look more beautiful every time I see you! Would you like to…"

I forget that I am in hiding and am about to slap someone, but then Mr. Nick suddenly reaches out and grabs Maya's hand.

"Oh, oops," mutters Mr. Larry. "I didn't remember you were dating."

"It's not a date," protests Mr. Nick.

"You're in so deep it's up to the 'undate' stage? Congratulations, Nick! When's the wedding?"

I almost swoon. Even Mr. Larry knows it's true!

"N…never. Look, sorry, Larry, we have a bus to catch…"

Mr. Nick leaves very quickly, still leading Mystic Maya by the hand. "Bye Larry!" she calls after them. But the couple do not go in the direction of the bus stop. And they are still holding hands.

"Maya," begins Mr. Nick, shuffling his feet. "I, uh…"

"Nick," begins Mystic Maya, gazing up at him then shifting her eyes. "Uh.. Wait. Hey, is that… _Pearly_?"

"Where?"

"I saw this kid with the same hairstyle as Pearly."

"What? But nobody has that hairstyle outside the 1300s…"

"Really? Then it must _BE_ Pearly!"

I run.

******


	2. August 7 2019

**Chapter 2: August 7 2019**

* * *

_7 August_

I am so excited! Tonight is the festival of Tanabata, which celebrates reuniting a pair of long lost lovers!

Mystic Maya has not seen Mr. Nick for over 3 weeks, so this will be an exciting and romantic reunion for the Special Someones after their painful separation.

I can't sleep, so I awaken at 3:30am instead of the usual 4.

I depart to attend to my morning spiritual duties. There are many candles and incenses to burn and prayers to offer up to departed spirits. These are probably the Master's duty, but I am honoured that Mystic Maya trusts and respects me enough to delegate them to me on most days.

But when I arrive, Mystic Maya is already there, and judging by the ritual she is just completing, has been present for some hours previously. She has been making the strongest of ritual offering to Ami Fey.

"Is something wrong, Mystic Maya?" I enquire, concerned.

"Oh, no, no," appeases Mystic Maya. 'I've just, um, neglected my duties, yeah that's it. I'm making up for…"

"But Mystic Maya, I have done them on your behalf as instructed, so we both know it's not a concern."

"Um, whatever… Hey Pearly, are you looking forward to the festival?"

"Are you looking forward to seeing Mr. Nick?"

"Um, yeah… Hey, guess what! Mr. Armando is going to be paroled tonight! And, um, Sister Iris."

She smiles brightly, but somehow she does not seem as happy as she could be by the news.

I am not happy either. This is most alarming.

Not Mr. Armando, of course. The other part.

"Never fear, Mystic Maya! If Mr. Nick's eyes so much as wander from your side, I will slap him for your honour."

"Er, Pearly, you sh…" But then Mystic Maya suddenly grins. "Thanks!"

###

I write my wish and hang it on the tree.

"_Mystic Maya and Mr. Nick live in perfekt romance hapily ever aftar_"

What is Mystic Maya's wish? I am sure it is related to her perfect romance with Mr. Nick. Or perhaps a desire for Mr. Nick's eternal health and happiness.

"What is your wish, Mystic Maya?" I enquire, wriggling under her arm to study her paper.

"PEARLY!" screeches Mystic Maya. I am somewhat taken aback. Then I recall such great emotion is part of being in love. And that Mystic Maya, like any blushing maiden, is shy about her affinity to Mr. Nick. This is why she is clamping her fist over the paper so I cannot see. Why, here comes her handsome prince now, rushing to her side at her call of distress!

"Yeah, what _is_ your wish, Maya?" demands Mr. Nick. A forceful voice that will make any maiden swoon and fall into his arms! Or actually maybe it is not – but Mystic Maya crushes the paper in her fist, rapidly shoves the remains into one of her sleeves, and peers with starry-eyed (?) emotion at Mr. Nick.

"I haven't written it yet." She scrawls her wish on another paper. (Why, Mother would surely whip me for such terrible lettering, but compensations must be made for the urgency of intense love.)

"_Pink Princess Season III Box Set_"

"Ooh, I wonder if my wish will come true this year?" she beams pointedly at Mr. Nick. With the intense connection of love, I know no words are required for interpretation of her Special Someone's loving answer.

We all know "Not on this month's budget," really means "Oh yes, Mystic Maya! I will do whatever you desire, and walk over miles of hot coals and endure hours of freezing torture to do so!" Mystic Maya beams at her man.

Her eyes take on the maniacal passion of love.

"What's _your_ wish, Nick?"

"T..to be a um… millionaire!"

"Oh, that's a good one! Hey…where is it?"

"I already hung it on the tree."

"Waaaaittt…"

I decide not to slap Mr. Nick. Ensuring Mystic Maya's future financial security is important. Actually, it's very romantic! I inform Mr. Nick of this. He blushes.

"Um… hehe whatever…Pearls, how about we go and get some FOOD?"

Mystic Maya jerks at the word. Her hands open and limply drop the wish paper. She charges with great and intense emotion to her Special Someone's side. I step out of the way to avoid being crushed in her loving eagerness.

There is a line of stands selling foods which we make our hasty way to. I have never seen most of them before, so it is hard to choose what to try. I decide to copy Mystic Maya, who has rushed to some food which seems to be made of nothing but blown up sugar.

Mr. Nick mutters something about wanting something more 'sub-stantial' and buys some noodles. We are just meeting up with Mr. Ehji-werth and the mean whip lady again when something happens.

Mr. Ehji-werth makes a strange strangled cry. "Huh? Earthquake?" Mr. Nick starts saying to himself.

Mystic Maya does not seem to have noticed Mr. Ehji-werth. Instead – I am shocked! – she is beginning to lean her head on Mr. Nick's shoulder the way Special Someones must usually only do in their Alone Time.

Mr. Nick makes a weird noise. It does not sound like the romantic sounds in '_The Magic Bottle_' but maybe adults do things not in that book as well.

But then I peek around Mystic Maya to try to see them, and then I see everyone is looking at Mystic Mia!

[_Here's the official art this is based on. Remove the spaces…  
http:/ i165. photobucket. com /albums/u43/icer01/tanabata .jpg_ ]

Mystic Mia is appearing as a ghost, and Mr. Armando is walking along holding her arm. For some reason, Mr. Ehji-werth and even Mr. Nick seem really scared.

Mystic Mia and Mr. Armando turn the corner. Mr. Nick makes more strange noises, drops his noodles on the ground, but then goes back to normal.

Mr. Nick has finally woken up to the fact that Mystic Maya is leaning her head all over his shoulder.

"Why are you leaning your head all over my shoulder?"

"I don't know. Why do _you_ think I'm leaning my head all over your shoulder?"

"I don't know."

"Niiii-iick!"

"M..more food?"

"No!"

Mr. Nick looks confused, then worried.

He then takes Mystic Maya's arm, looping his around it in the way Special Someones do. "This?"

Mystic Maya is suddenly again all smiles.

Mr. Nick is suddenly all smiles too.

I think I may be going to pass out.


	3. December 25 2019

********

_25 December_

Today was Christmas, and we went to a party with people that Mr Nick and Mystic Maya know, like Mr Ehji-werth, Mrs Franziska, Mr. Larry, Mr Scruffy Detective and even Mr Powers.

There were a lot of beautiful decorations, even mistletoe. To ensure Mystic Maya and Mr Nick's future happiness, I brought and hung a lot more mistletoe...

* * *

"_Look above you, Mr Nick," piped up Pearl._

"_Uh? What?" He gazed above. "I don't see anything…"_

"_Look at the plants!"_

"_Oh. Yeah, decorations. Aren't they nice, Pearls. I guess they're maybe more elaborate than at Kurain…"_

"_What KIND of decorations, Mr Nick?" Phoenix is mystified to why Pearl is so impatient._

"_Oh. Um, that's a 'Holly', and that's a 'Tinsel', and that's a… a flower, and that's a…"_

"_Mistletoe!" chimes in Maya._

"_and that's a 'streamer'.."_

"_People under the mistletoe are supposed to *kiss*, Mr Nick, and Mystic Maya is who is under the mistletoe with you." Her eyes fixated his pointedly. Maya also directed an expectant gaze._

"_No, we don't have to…"_

"_Yeah, pal! It's a tradition," broke in Gumshoe. "(Now I was kinda hoping Maggey might show up here, but she didn't…)"_

"_What? Nobody really does or believes that stuff. Right, Maya?"_

"_Well, Nick, it's what always happens on TV!"_

"_WHAT??? No!" proclaimed Phoenix with great finality._

"_*Mr* Nick," chided Pearl severely, "you are insulting Mystic Maya's honour by being too shy to kiss her in public."_

_"I'm not too shy, I'm…"_

_Phoenix flinched as the assault of slaps came. His eyes then flitted in confusion to the source of a sudden, unexpected reprieve, Maya._

"_Stop it Pearly," she directed as she dragged her away from him. "Nick doesn't want to kiss me." Her eyes wouldn't meet his._

"_But… but… Mystic Mm-ayaaaa!" Pearl burst into tears._

_All the guests turned to look at the ugly scene. Gumshoe made flailing attempts to cheer up Pearl, but all was futile._

_Phoenix shuffled uneasily. "Oh, okay," he muttered to Maya. "I guess we should just try to shut Pearls up"_

_Maya had never kissed anybody before, and she was somewhat excited. For someone who was clearly only doing this to 'shut Pearls up' she was struck by how strangely nervous Nick suddenly seemed. _

_She also realized she had no idea how to kiss anybody, and just hoped that Nick knew better. He was the type of loser who practically screamed 'I have never had a girlfriend', but supposedly he'd dated Iris, and somehow got through law school. Maybe he'd studied up on kissing techniques too._

_But as their lips smushed together at a weird angle, she was left with the uncanny sense that this one was a fail. Wasn't kissing supposed to be, well, *better*?_

_The room had fallen silent to stare at the couple, and Maya sensed they were now not staring in a good way._

"_T..there Pearls," Phoenix muttered to the small medium, who had indeed been adequately silenced. He retreated to the drinks table._

_Maya did not meet his gaze. She retreated to the food table, then subsequently outside._

_Phoenix had the uneasy sense he'd committed a faux pas. Also that Maya was avoiding him, so he did not seek her out._

_Thus it was a while before he noted her absence._

_He searched all the likely locales, and then the unlikely ones, but to no success. Had she gone home? He felt bad. It was hard to imagine she'd gone outside in this weather, but maybe…_

_***_

"_Maya? Hey…"_

"_Oh. Hi, Nick." Her smile and greeting was genuine, but the magnitude of cheer just a little *too* bright._

"_What's up?"_

"_Nothing. I'm just watching the snow."_

_Phoenix sensed he *did* know what she might be upset about._

_He sank down beside her. "I…I'm sorry."_

"_What? Nick, you have nothing to be sorry over. At least, I don't *think*…" Her warmth is now fully authentic. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Flakes of snow continued to sputter from the sky._

"_You wear this year round? Aren't you cold?"_

"_Freezing makes it easier to communicate with the spirit world," Maya explained._

"_You're not contacting ghosts now, I hope." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. _

"_Come back inside now, okay? There's probably more food, and.. and.."_

"_Yeah, okay," grinned Maya, leaning into him for some moments until they detached themselves._

_The pair shake the snow off themselves and step inside. There's still large quantities of mistletoe on the ceiling decorations. Actually, there appears to be far more of it than previously. The sound of their return has also attracted the attention of many of the guests._

"_Careful, Nick, there's mistletoe, like, everywhere. I guess we could just ignore it…" _

_They collude in uneasy hushed whispers._

"_W..why is everyone staring at us?"_

"_I don't know! Maybe because last time sucked? W..we don't want them to think we're bad kissers."_

"_Y..yeah! Especially not Larry."_

"_Let's try again! J-just to, you know, prove them wrong!"_

"_R..right!_

_Eyes dart awkwardly, but they soon cover this with the methodical care to align themselves properly this time. _

_The connection is strange, compelling. Their minds flail as they find themselves leaning into the experience. After a few moments they break apart, but it's somehow slightly dizzying._

_They stood for a moment in minor shock._

"_Better. Maybe if we.."_

"_Yeah, better keep… practicing."_

"_We don't want to.. *embarrass* ourselves…"_

_The moment their lips meet, they forget 'technique'. Their arms instinctively reach out and draw each other closer in a tender embrace. Their eyes close. They have no wish or need to break for air._

_Everyone is now staring, and for a very different reason._

_Phoenix and Maya have ceased to notice._

_**END**_

_*****  
**_

_

* * *

_

_Hmm, sorry for the weird perspective switch, but I couldn't cheat BlackWiddow out of her Christmas romance could I? Time pressure ORZ  
_


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